It’s So Cold?

Tumbler :: High Heels & Hangovers

There was a Blonde and her husband.

One morning the husband leaves for work and the blonde gets up. She’s determined to prove to her husband that blondes aren’t dumb, by painting the kitchen.

When her husband gets home he says to his wife “Honey why do you have 3 coats on?”

The blonde says, “Well the directions on the paint said to use three coats for best results.”

www.CoolBlondeJokes.com

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Handcuffs Or Housework?

Prison Versus Housewives

In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can’t sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison, you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home, you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison, all your medical care is free.

At home, you have to pawn your mother’s silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home, you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison, you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.

At home, you get to clean your space and everyone else’s space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.

At home, you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you’re done so you can do something for them.

In prison, the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.

At home, you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else’s, and get yelled at because somebody’s favorite shirt isn’t clean.

In prison, they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home, you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison, the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.

At home, you have to lug around everybody else’s stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison, there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn’t.

At home….stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

Joke courtesy of Aha! Jokes

Lock Me Up Just Don’t Throw Away The Keys

Inflatable Handcuffs (cause I’m allergic to metal) (Costume)

Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets (pop-off son!) (Book)

James Blunt – Some Kind of Trouble (soundtrack to being bad) (Music)

Day 103 – Bad Girl Java (f cked up girls need a sidekick i.e. super cute puppies that you can take super cute pictures of every day) (Blog)

RIP Cox

My husband the wonderful genius that he is decided to totally cancel our cable service. Now some might be quick to say it must be financial, the cable must have been disconnected. And I would understand that…we’ve gone a few days (maybe weeks) with a small disruption in our service. But no this experiment was not at all financially driven (although saving that 100 bucks doesn’t hurt). Really I don’t know where it came from but basically we can watch tv for free. I never actually watch “live” tv anymore anyways because im always so busy. The DVR had become my besties! But what’s the point of that when I can just go to Bravotv.com and watch all my wonderful housewives tear each other to pieces there, and at the same time chill in my bed rather then the living room.

Not only do we not watch tv anymore but my son no longer watches and I no longer rely on it. Yes, I became that mommy that uses tv as a babysitter. No I am not ashamed, I’m busy! Now I must entertain my boy and all his random gibber jabs and find ways to do what I have to do and keep him occupied as well. But alas! There is the dear old friend the DVD player, he has come to lend a helping hand for when your really bored or children whom are extremely tired but REFUSE to take a nap.

Things we did today without the use of television –

1. Got out of bed at 6AM

2. Cooked breakfast, with my little helper next to me.

3.Blogged, twitted, tumbled, and fell.

4. Played in the pool outside.

5. Enjoyed lunch with Victor.

6.Made little Grace laugh really really hard!

7.Made pancakes (cupcakes)!

And tomorrow will be a totally awesome day…and very busy and hopefully I find the time to blog about it.

Deuces!!

www.riotheels.com